How "Happily Ever After…Right Now" Helps Me Keep My Joy - by Veronica Cuyugan

How "Happily Ever After…Right Now" Helps Me Keep My Joy - by Veronica Cuyugan
From the Acknowledgements to the Epilogue, this labor of love I’ve had the utmost privilege of reading has touched my life in such a profound way that I literally want to hand it out to every single woman I know. Happily Ever After…Right Now epitomizes metaphysical guidance between pages – it’s so much more than a self-help book. It’s a comprehensive review of our history; why we react the way we do to certain emotional stimuli and how we can correct ourselves so that we live in our Queen essence. Happily…reiterated the lesson I learned long ago- that happiness does not come from a source outside of me, but rather from within, by nurturing the divine love that is my...

The Queen's Jewels

The Queen's Jewels
Useful Gems for Reprogramming Ourselves as Women Colorful gems. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

Last week I shared an excerpt from my book, "Happily Ever After Right Now" on reprogramming ourselves, and how the only way we can discover true happiness is to be thorough in our investigation of self.  Below are a few gems (or jewels), which can serve as cues on how to take the inner journey.

Whether dormant and disguised or fully operative in their most optimal brilliance, the polishing of these gemstones is what will awaken us to the true callings of the heart. It is no coincidence that each number below represents a chapter title of my book: 1. Entitlement: Let Go of the Longing for the...

Relationships: Re-Programming Ourselves as Women

Relationships: Re-Programming Ourselves as Women
It is our ancient conditioning that keeps us stuck in old thought patterns and behaviors about love and relationships. So, then how can we emancipate ourselves from this conditioning's grasp? The primal beliefs and thoughts etched into our consciousness can be automatically triggered by an event. Just like the enchantment that caused Sleeping Beauty to fall asleep when she pricked her finger on the spinning wheel at age sixteen, our old fearful spells kick in when we feel rejected or alone. We can dismantle the power of our ancient conditioning (which wants us to believe that we are sure prey for the lurking monsters) by creating new beliefs and incantations of Entitlement.

The point is that we need to be committed to becoming aware of...

Letting Go of the Old, Inviting the New

Letting Go of the Old, Inviting the New
Let go of the old so you can completely take hold of the new. -Joyce Meyers (Photo credit: deeplifequotes)

Is it possible that the archetype of need has been conditioned and etched into the trenches of our consciousness from the start of our existence? Even though we live in the twenty-first century, we are still influenced by our primal origins. Renowned Psychologist Carl Gustav Jung (Stevens, 1982) was a powerful pathfinder with his careful examination of the mazes of stories that appear to run our lives. He delved into meaning and symbols and explored how these are conveyed both individually and collectively through tales that weave themselves into the collective psyche and become lodged as cultural norms,...

Our Ticket to Happiness, Here, Now

Our Ticket to Happiness, Here, Now
No one else has the capacity to give us what we want. And when we finally hit the tipping point that helps us to make that connection, the quintessential theme of our life will become a burning desire to pursue our unlimited potential through the expression of our emerging gifts and talents. This quest is the fuel that drives us toward the state of enduring happiness. It is the “vitality” and “life force, a quickening that is translated through you into action,” unique only to you, that Martha Graham so eloquently captures in her beautiful poem printed at the end of chapter 1 [in my book "Happily Ever After Right Now"]: “the queer, divine, blessed unrest that keeps us marching...

Royalty We Have Known and Loved

No doubt, you've seen and perhaps even known men or women who have chosen to live in their Magnificence. They exude inner strength and confidence and are respected and admired by others. Mother Teresa, Oprah Winfrey, Katherine Hepburn, Eleanor Roosevelt, Maya Angelou, Audrey Hepburn and Queen Noor of Jordan come to mind as female examples. Consider the saintly qualities of Mary, Queen of Heavens, and Magnificent mother of Jesus - picture Hera, Queen of the gods, who reigned as an equal partner with Zeus. Literary characters can also serve as model. Visualize Ayala in The Clan of the Cave Bear (Auel, 2002) series, who maintained a sense of herself and embodied the Royal essence, even thought she was scorned by the less-evolved tribe...

What You Seek Already Exists

What You Seek Already Exists
Spotter (Photo credit: Jay Aremac)

When we focus on and trust our insights and inspirations (which are the voices that guide us to fulfilling our passions and dreams), the urgent need to obtain security in another or outside of us will begin to melt away and eventually disappear. Widows who have learned to become dependent on their husbands, for example, often discover a multitude of inner strength, courage, and wisdom following the death of their spouse. The same is true of women who have broken up with their partners. As they move through the stages of grief, they are frequently astounded by the sense of power and delight that accompanies the process of developing their independence.

Sara made...

Your Awakened Heart

Your Awakened Heart
 

The Heart (Photo credit: petalouda62)

  Keep awakening and opening your heart. Notice when you feel joy. Be present with this feeling and remember that this is your natural state. Be aware of feelings of pain that may arise. You might react because you instinctively resist this pain. Be willing to sit still with it for a minute. Become intimate with the twinge and tenderness that you are experiencing. See if you can pinpoint where the pain is most acute. Where are you the most sensitive? Where do you feel particularly vulnerable around this ache in your heart? Do you feel jumpy, heavy, restless or motionless? Can you have a conversation with this pain? If so, what does...

The Magic of Majesty

The Magic of Majesty
Photo: Hanging Lake, Colorado. Photo Credit: Lisa Jey Davis © 2005 As you diminish your victim thoughts, words, and actions, you will begin to tap into the magic of the Queen/King. Like the heroes/heroines in fairy tales who had to accomplish some seemingly impossible task, you will be able to set aside apparent "real" limits and move steadily to your goals coming from the inspirations of your heart. The Grimm's (fairy tale) girls, for instance, invariably did what they needed to do -- they got a good night's sleep -- and allowed the guidance of their inner wisdom to handle the rest. The internal womb of stillness will always point us to peace. Our only task is to listen and then follow where...

The Payoff

The Payoff
"Much of your pain is self-chosen. It is the bitter potion by which the physician within you heals your sick self. Therefore trust the physician, and drink his remedy in silence and tranquility: For his hand, though heavy and hard, is guided by the tender hand of the Unseen, and the cup he brings forth, though it burns your lips, has been fashioned of the clay which the Potter has moistened with His own sacred tears." -- Kahlil Gibran (1951, p. 51) The Prophet Image credit: Kahlil Gibran, "The Prophet" on Facebook  How did we get to be such drudges -- such slaves? Cultural stories steadily seep into our psyche like a leaky faucet that never gets fixed. Then, our conditioning ensconces them...

New Stories, New Enchantments

New Stories, New Enchantments
Image credit: Mike Barret, "Crystal of Enchantment" http://michaelthomasbarrett.blogspot.com/2011/03/enchanted.html As we become more and more willing to be completely transparent in all of our relationships, the more freedom we will have for unlimited growth. And, in our willingness to be totally open and honest, we provide the space for others to choose clarity and integrity for themselves. When speaking and living the truth without being concerned about others leaving when we do, the more people are inclined to stick around. They are attracted to our authenticity and openness. It is fresh and alive. It works. When we stand tall to face the stark, screeching terror of abandonment, we create an opening to remember that divine love can provide the only rescue. It is from this...

Be Attached to Nothing

Be Attached to Nothing
He who binds to himself a joy, does the winged life destroy; He who kisses the joy as it flies, lives in eternity's sunrise. -- William Blake (Whyte, 1994, p. 194)



We have been conditioned to believe that if we let go, we will somehow be left, stripped down, naked, and alone. When we are in such a mindset, we have forgotten that nothing can really exist in and/or of itself, and so it is impossible to be alone. All of life is interdependent. To illustrate the point, imagine that you are walking through a grove of Aspen trees in the mountains of Colorado. You may see each tree as a free-standing entity. Ah, but you forget (or perhaps you never knew) that all...

Introducing Regality

Introducing Regality
A variation of this post appears at the very start of Chapter 7 in my book "Happily Ever After Right Now... Stop Searching! Start Celebrating!"

There's beauty in release... there's no one left to please." -- Sheryl Crow Image found here: http://junibearsjottings.blogspot.com/2012/01/taw-regal.html A person (King or Queen) who has trained themselves to be in a peaceful state chooses to stay in peace regardless of what is going on in their environment. For the sake of example, we'll talk about women (Queens). If a tree falls on her car, she experiences the upset and inconvenience -- and returns to peace. If she receives a new diamond necklace, she allows herself to delight in the gift without making it overly significant -- and returns to peace....

Giving Up Control

Giving Up Control
(Photo credit: Wikipedia)   As we become more and more willing to be completely transparent with who we are in all our relationships, the more freedom we have for unlimited growth. When speaking and living authentically without concern that someone is going to leave as soon as we reveal the truth, the more people are inclined to stick around. They are attracted to our courage. It is fresh and alive. It works. As we stand tall to face the stark terror that our conditioned fears of abandonment produce, we create an opening to remember that the love that lives in our own hearts is the only certain rescue. it is from such a foundation that we can move...

Waking Into Your Life

Waking Into Your Life
Talakona Waterfall, Chittoor (Photo credit: VinothChandar)

Waking Into Your Life (Overcoming Our Addiction to Love)

Below is an excerpt from my book, Happily Ever After Right Now… Stop Searching! Start Celebrating! It is taken from chapter 5: Power: Give Up Your Addiction to Love. This section is titled, Examining Your Fear and Waking Into Your Life.

When your entire identity is invested in shielding and protecting yourself from the indeterminate future, you remain behind the curve of your life. What would it take to drop everything that keeps you bound to the story of fear? Is it possible that, if you let go of all that you think you need to protect yourself from harm's way, that you might eventually emancipate yourself from...

Operating From a Foundation of Power

Operating From a Foundation of Power
(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

In the primal sense, which is still alive and well, man is all about the hunt and the chase. And woman is all about being saved. If her fears take her over the edge and cause her to do the hunting, the subject of her chase will most likely choose to retreat. Instinctively, he does not want to be caught, or to be responsible for saving anything. He wants to be free, and actually, so does she. By reverting to primitive methods for attaining that freedom, the idea of insufficiency, need, and dependency is re-enforced, perpetuating the drama of the Brute and Babe (our ancient ancestors).

It is time to end the pain/pleasure cycle that began centuries...

Step 6 in Overcoming Triggers: Surrender the Shame

Step 6 in Overcoming Triggers: Surrender the Shame
English: Surrender Moss near Wetshaw Bottom. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

If you've come this far with us, in our series, "Those Things that Trigger You are a Gift," you've learned how to first, recognize when you are triggered, and to stop before you speak out or act on it (step 1). You understand the importance of allowing yourself to feel whatever it is that you are feeling (step 2).  You've read that if you dig deep, you'll uncover whether or not there are some past hurts or issues that are causing you to want to react now (step 3).

We've discussed the importance of getting out of your story... and focusing on what's really happening; that the context of the...

Step 5 in Overcoming Triggers: Choose Happiness over Righteousness

Step 5 in Overcoming Triggers: Choose Happiness over Righteousness
By now you have probably realized that our series "Those Things That Trigger You are a Gift" is taken directly from my book Happily Ever After Right Now... Stop Searching! Start Celebrating!  I am thrilled to tell you about Step 5 for Modifying Your Responses. That's because it deals with an essential component to the pursuit of Happiness: CHOICE. Let's jump in. STEP 5: CHOOSE HAPPINESS INSTEAD OF RIGHTEOUSNESS: Ask yourself if you want to be happy or if you want to be right. (This idea originates from A Course in Miracles, Foundation for inner Peace, 1985). Give up the need to control outcomes. Most of us would rather to be right. This desire is directly linked to our survival instinct. And, being happy is not part...

Step 4 in Overcoming Triggers: Get Out of Your Story

Step 4 in Overcoming Triggers: Get Out of Your Story
We are moving along in our series “Those Things That Trigger You are a Gift”, and Level I for handling this new information: “Modify Your Responses!” I've shared a number of ways to untangle yourself from the inclination to react angrily or intensely. I am excited to share our next step with you, and hear how it impacts your progress!

STEP 4: FOCUS ON CONTEXT VS. CONTENT: Get Out of Your Story

Our feelings are triggered by thoughts, which, if left uncensored and unrestricted, are like the Sorcerer's apprentice. If we go too deeply into the story, our runaway thoughts can convince us of anything. He doesn't love me. He doesn't care. I am not good enough for him. Begin to notice these thoughts and then...

Step 3 in Overcoming Triggers: Dig Deep

Step 3 in Overcoming Triggers: Dig Deep
 

Denver (III) Tire Swing (Photo credit: roeyahram)

STEP THREE: DIG DEEP

Continuing in our series "Those Things That Trigger You are a Gift", and Level 1 for handling this new information: "Modify Your Responses,"  here are the first two steps we've covered, along with their links (in case you'd like to review or catch up): :

Step 1: Notice That You've Been Triggered. Stop Before You Speak or Act.

Step 2: Feel What You Are Feeling. Don't Resist.

The purpose of the first step, is to master the skill of NOTICING when you've been triggered, and to stop before you speak or act.  These are vital in the process of unwinding your reactive inclinations.  The second step is to allow yourself...