New Year: New View, New Perspective

To launch us into a healthy New Year, I'd like to begin Level II of that series, titled:

"New Year: New View, New Perspective"

Before we jump in let me briefly share what was covered in Level I of the series.  Here are the links with brief summaries of those posts for your review (feel free to skip down to the new post if you remember this):

Those Things That Trigger You Are a Gift

By facing ourselves and beginning to take a look at what is happening when a partner’s behavior triggers a certain emotion within us, we can start to uncover all of our inner treasures. Ultimately what we are attempting to do is to end needless suffering in our lives. Right?  >> Read More

Step 1 in Overcoming Triggers: Stop Before You Speak or Act

When your partner, or a friend or family member does something that triggers you, breathe and think before you speak.  If you must, take a break or go for a walk – whatever works – but try not to speak out immediately. >> Read More

Step 2 in Overcoming Triggers: Allow Yourself to Feel

Feel what you are feeling: Don’t resist. Allow what is there to be there. As the feelings emerge, avoid the impulse to withdraw or lash out (anything that resembles passive or aggressive behavior is not appropriate).  Rather, permit whatever is bubbling up in you to expose itself (but keep it to yourself at this point). >> Read More

Step 3 in Overcoming Triggers: Dig Deep

While experiencing anger, terror, sadness, or even possible relief, start to let go of the suffering, even if for only a moment. Try to tolerate some internal inquiries. What does the possibility of his waning interest remind you of that may have happened before? >> Read More

Step 4 in Overcoming Triggers: Get Out of Your Story

Our feelings are triggered by thoughts, which, if left uncensored and unrestricted, are like the Sorcerer’s apprentice. If we go too deeply into the story, our runaway thoughts can convince us of anything. He doesn’t love me. He doesn’t care. >> Read More

Step 5 in Overcoming Triggers: Choose Happiness Over Righteousness

Most of us would rather to be right. This desire is directly linked to our survival instinct. And, being happy is not part of survival. In moving beyond the Brute and the Babe syndrome where survival was key (and happiness wasn’t), we can spend more time on developing effective ways to be happy. >> Read More

Step 6 in Overcoming Triggers: Surrender the Shame

If you are blaming (projecting onto) someone else, there are more than likely some remnants of shame buried within you. If you can feel yourself wanting to dump on him/her, stop and go a little deeper. There may be something inside that is trying to get your attention. >> Read More

Now let's begin with our NEW YEAR & Taking on a New View, New Perspective!

[caption id="" align="alignright" width="500"]New York city views. Financial district from H... (Photo credit: amphalon)[/caption]

Why is it so difficult for us to truly love and be loved? Perhaps it is because we cannot love ourselves and the moment enough.  If someone has come into your life who isn't respectful, loving, and supportive of you, then chances are you have not mastered the art of becoming all of those things for yourself. The gift that he (or she)  is presenting to you is that he may be reflecting back your own image.

Think about that.  Let it sink in.

In the next post, we'll jump into step 1 for Taking on a New View, New Perspective: Assume Their Behavior Mirrors Your Own.

This will be fun!




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Excerpt taken from pages 110 - 117 of my book, "Happily Ever After... Right Now"

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