Connection: A Paradox

As we concentrate on balancing whatever appears to be out of whack in ourselves, at some point we come to understand that our capacity to love, create, and reach our most expanded potential cannot be complete without experiencing human relationships. And the paradox inherent in this realization is that we won't be truly balanced until we are willing to let go of everything to which we believe we must be connected in order to survive. Often our attachments and addictions are subtle. We can rationalize them, particularly when we don't want to take a look at what we might be doing to create our own misery. Frequently we feel that it is impossible to detach from our harmful habits, at least until nothing else works. You do not have to wait for that moment. You can start now, even if you begin by just admitting to yourself that there is one little aspect of your life that isn't working. Dare to stare at that detail, whatever it is, even if only for a moment. What keeps you from changing it?

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="377"]Représentation d'anneaux borroméens vus de pro... (Photo credit: Wikipedia)[/caption]

Now, ask yourself a few more questions. What is it that you most want to hold on to? Is it your identity, your man, your children, your friends, your parents, or your career? Are these "things" or people really yours to possess? What does the word "identity" or "Personality" mean to you? Are you, your job, your car, your house, your role as a partner or a parent? Conversely, if you are not these things, who are you, then?

The truth is, who you really are does not crave happiness, connection, joy, love, peace, health, money, or freedom. Because the real you knows that "it" already is these things. And when you are operating fully from this essential "youness," you are moved from "That" which moves all things. While in such a state of awareness, you don't need to evaluate why this is so, or ask questions about what is happening. You don't allow the voice of fear to manipulate you or to make you doubt who you really are. You are just simply living life. You are not driven by your social and cultural conditioning. Rather, you are effortlessly moved by the ocean of spirit that stirs within you, above you, beside you, and beneath you.

We cannot depend on our partners to generate the breakthroughs that are going to create in us a simple, profound awareness that will set us free from suffering and longing. Only we ourselves are capable of discovering what truly connects us to the heart of our very own soul. And we make this discovery by bravely turning to face all that has kept us from seeing our hidden wholeness. But first, we must connect with our own true Self. When we ignore or defy her, we will suffer. In partnering with our own authentic Essence, then do we prepare the way to partner with another.

I am convinced we are bound for success.




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Excerpts from page 201-202 of my book, “Happily Ever After Right Now… Stop Searching! Start Celebrating!”


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